“All the imaginary lines of humanity … the tribal fears we hold onto … all the arbitrary restrictions we place on ourselves and each other – they mean nothing.”
So noted Dr. Sally Ride, the NASA astronaut who was the first American woman ever to go to space, during one of the many interviews conducted following her historic trip to the stars in June 1983. Viewing Earth from above “as a planet” instilled in her a profound appreciation for how alike we humans are.
Yet arbitrary restrictions all the same kept Ride from living her truth as a queer woman, despite having a partner, Tam O’Shaughnessy – a woman with whom Ride lived, loved and founded education organization Sally Ride Science over the course of their 27 years together.
But the relationship is getting its moment in the spotlight now, by way of a National Geographic documentary, “Sally,” and a People magazine interview, both of which were released this week.
The documentary, especially, serves as a touching tribute to the totality of Ride’s life, toggling between chronicling her triumphant and very public journey into outer space – spotlighting the intense levels of media scrutiny that both preceded and followed her flight, much of it thrumming with gendered assumptions and sexist questions around romance and fashion – and the secret reality of her queerness.
Ride realized that her identity as a “first” thrust her to role-model status, and she felt immense pressure to maintain a specific image in light of that, those who knew her say. “Telling the world about us was a risk she just couldn’t take,” O’Shaughnessy said in the documentary, as Ride lived in a time when being open about her queerness would have been perceived as incongruous with being someone for kids to admire. Ride even married fellow astronaut Steven Hawley in 1982, in a bid (at least in part) to maintain the ruse. The couple divorced in 1987.
Journalist Lynn Sherr, one of numerous people who spoke about Ride’s life in “Sally,” noted the tragedy of the fact that “society could make someone that we admire and love and respect feel that she had to hide something about herself.”
It’s an especially potent and emotional message to consider now, as President Donald Trump’s administration rolls back protections that had ensured improved levels of diversity, equity and inclusion in the workplace for marginalized individuals – such as members of the LGBTQ community – and as American society experiences an overall regression in acceptance.
But what cannot be taken away, no matter who sits in the Oval Office or what anyone says on the matter, is that the relationship between Ride and O’Shaughnessy was real, and special, and endured through good times and bad until Ride’s death from pancreatic cancer in July 2012 at age 61. It was a relationship full of long walks, and stolen kisses in elevators and laboratories, and living-room dances to Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon.”
“We had a wonderful relationship, from the time we were kids until we became lovers,” O’Shaughnessy told People. “I think it’s something to be proud of.”
As is Ride’s legacy. The paths she carved out, and the glass ceiling she shattered with a literal rocket, paved the way for an influx of women employees at NASA. They now comprise just over 35% of the agency’s workforce. The work of Sally Ride Science, a shared legacy of the couple, merits pride, too. “Sally” concludes by noting that the organization has now trained over 30,000 teachers and reached over 6 million students through a combination of books, workshops and festivals, galvanizing future generations of girls and women to learn and work the STEM fields.
Yet another proud moment, also featured in the documentary: In 2013, former President Barack Obama conferred the Presidential Medal of Freedom upon Ride posthumously. O’Shaughnessy accepted the award on Ride’s behalf, and was introduced as Ride’s life partner in the process – about as public a recognition as one can get.
“Finally, Sally was celebrated for who she really was – and I got celebrated as well, for being her partner,” O’Shaughnessy noted in the documentary. “The world made it tricky and painful, but we were brave enough to love each other.”
