This is, as they say, a “mood” – one women should be increasingly unafraid of leaning into. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

“That’s my secret, Cap: I’m always angry.”

So says Bruce Banner, the man who transforms into the Incredible Hulk, to Captain America in the 2012 Marvel film “The Avengers.” It’s Banner’s way of explaining that accessing the rampaging monster within when it’s time for battle requires no effort – that directly beneath his calm demeanor and careful phrasing rolls his perpetually boiling rage.

I can definitely relate – and in fact, so can an ever-increasing number of women, research finds. In the Marvel spin-off show “She-Hulk,” the title character’s human persona, Jennifer Walters, points out how good women have become at suppressing this anger because, well, we’ve had to. But anecdotally speaking, the week that has elapsed since President Donald Trump’s inauguration has fueled that communal fire among progressive women – doused it in gasoline, really. 

Mere hours after he took the oath of office, Trump signed a stack of executive orders that, among other things, took us out of both the World Health Organization and the Paris Climate Agreement, revoked protections for immigrants and members of the LGBTQ community, and further infringed upon what remaining reproductive rights we have. His week continued apace from there.

Our ire is at its zenith … and yet, Captain America isn’t asking us to unleash the beast. No one in America is – because our society can’t handle it when women are pissed off. Rather than being respected, or even heard, we suffer both personal and professional consequences for expressing our frustration, no matter how much we soften it to make it more palatable. Women of color are punished in particular for greeting oppression with anything other than a smile.

So what are we supposed to do in the face of a conservative right which has just reclaimed the trifecta, and is already using that power to inflict pain and sow fear among the marginalized? 

Apparently, we’re supposed to shut up.

We Can Do No Right

During a service at the National Cathedral last week, Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde made an ask of her new president: “To have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now.”

“There are gay, lesbian and transgender children in Democratic, Republican, and Independent families, some who fear for their lives,” she reminded him from the pulpit. And in consideration of immigrants throughout the U.S., she added: “I ask you to have mercy, Mr. President, on those in our communities whose children fear that their parents will be taken away.”

In an interview with TIME magazine, she said she received numerous death threats from the anonymous general public for her trouble. The condemnation didn’t stop there – and it didn’t stay private, either. Trump himself took to Truth Social to brand her as a “radical-left, hardline Trump hater” who was “nasty in tone.” Rep. Mike Collins called for her deportation

It doesn’t matter how we present our displeasure – our very disagreement is the problem. 

And while our majority-male oppressors want to shut down anyone who dares push back – quelling dissension is part of the fascist playbook, after all – they have, and will continue to take particular issue with women who do so, no matter how calm and cogent our arguments may be.

Let’s Just Hulk Out

Why not release it, then? The anger. 

Here, I’ll get the ball rolling: I am angry, because our leaders will see us robbed of what our bodies and our spirits need. Mostly as a means of gaining and retaining control, though disregard and bigotry play their parts. Leaders put there by people who either share their oppressive desires, or are too choked with fear to think of anyone besides their own.

I am angry because, in the face of this, they want us to be calm and quiet. Women especially. 

You absolutely must be joking.

No, now is a time for anger – and a time for harnessing it. I’m not speaking of limiting our rage, but rather, of bringing it to its fullest, most gigantic life in the form of shared ideas and actionable plans, articulated and agreed-upon goals, and open arms. And yes, some much-merited complaining, too.

In the conversations I’ve had since Trump took back power, the recurring question has been: What do we do? How can we possibly fight all of this? And my imperfect start at an answer has been: We do what we can, when we can. We find our lane, and we stay in it. We trust one another to do the same, so that we cover all the bases together. And whenever we are given the chance to do the right thing, or to make someone smile, we grab it with both hands.

Nothing about these actions has to be soft, though. I wrote last week about love being a “bold and intentional” thing. Sometimes, love must be ferocious, too. 

To evoke Bruce Banner once more … they won’t like us when we’re angry, women especially. But ask yourself: “Do I actually care?” ⬛️