Thanksgiving is fast approaching, marking the start of another holiday season.
As we come together to honor any one of the dozen-plus cultural celebrations coming up, many will be greeted with a familiar ask: “Please don’t make things political.” What the peace-seekers mean is: Don’t fight about the results of Election 2024. Don’t fight about President-elect Donald Trump. Don’t fight about the state of the world, or what’s to come for America. And don’t shun those who disagree with you.
It’s not just your parents – a bevy of articles and commentaries have gone live this week to this effect. In the Miami Herald, Melinda Henneberger wrote that “you can oppose [Trump’s] policies without writing off his people.” In the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Debra J. Saunders opined that arguing over politics is tantamount to throwing out “the laws of civility,” and that anyone doing so is a “sore loser.” HBO talk show host Bill Maher likened ostracizing Trump supporters to the bygone practice of forcing Black people to sit in the backs of buses.
Here’s the thing: As maddening as these missives are, we’re going to be tempted to heed them all the same. To put aside our anger and fear in favor of embracing the comforting siren calls of calm and peace amid these especially tumultuous times.
And yet, we can’t. The stakes remain too high.
Why? Well, Saunders of the Review-Journal mocked the notion of folks feeling fearful around Trump supporters in her article. But let’s go to the tape on this: What have Trump and his supporters done with their energy, in the wake of their victory over Vice President Kamala Harris?
To isolate one example amid the swirling din, there are the ongoing, galling attacks against transgender Americans. South Carolina Rep. Nancy Mace has been leading a crusade to bully and ostracize trans people, in particular Representative-elect Sarah McBride of Delaware, America’s first-ever openly transgender congressperson. First by introducing a bill that would restrict McBride from using women’s restrooms on Capitol Hill (a measure U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson has backed), then by engaging in a days-long rant against trans women, using her Twitter account to shame and ridicule them, while branding herself as some sort of protector.
Nevermind the fact that trans people are four times more likely to be victims of violent crimes, rather than perpetrators of them. Nevermind the fact that Trump himself is the very sort of predator the right claims to be safe-guarding women from with their hate-mongering. Nevermind the fact that they and the rest of the LBGTQ community are already routinely shunned by society, by their own families.
And now those who condone such division, who vote for the individuals fortifying hate into law and trumpeting it from their platforms, want a quiet Thanksgiving meal? They want us to stay silent as they and theirs harm others – sometimes gleefully – using unearned power and bad-faith arguments?
Again – we can’t.
Conflict as a Necessity
What if a fight has to happen? What if fighting is … good? And kind?
I’ve noted this before, and I maintain it now – that we need to engage in a societal re-framing of the very concept of fighting. Sure, perhaps it’s not nice to fight. But “nice” is a passive, surface-level thing. “Nice” is cordial. Simple. Placid, sure – but without principle. Kindness, on the other hand, is rooted deeper. “Kind” is real, and cares truly. “Kind” can be ferocious in defense of those who need protection.
“Kind” can be a bitch as needed, particularly when faced with the harming of others.
I refuse to let the notion of speaking up and out against injustices be rebranded as intolerance, as Maher and others would warp it to be. Progressives have not grown intolerant of other kinds of people – we’ve simply grown intolerant of racist, sexist, harmful policies. Words. Behaviors. Abuses of power.
This is not about high horses, or individual validation. No, to a certain extent, it’s just about inspiring thought, and creating positive ripple effects that might serve to soften hearts. But even more than that, it comes down to integrity – our own, that of our personal relationships, and that of the broader community we still seek to build with one another. How does avoidance of hard conversations and hard truths – in favor of happy holidays, or in any context, really – serve that aim?
Reader … it doesn’t. Comfortable silences will not solve anything.
I do wish you holidays that are joyful. But if that’s not possible, then I wish you holidays full of true kindness. I wish for us a world where all are safe, and happy, and free. The truth is, we are all we have. But the miracle is, we are all we need.
And we are certainly worth fighting for.
