Regina King is ready to share her feelings about her son’s death – and how she’s getting closer to healing.
The Oscar-winning actress lost her 26-year-old son, Ian Alexander Jr., to suicide on Jan. 19. 2022. She recently told Good Morning America that the sadness from his death will never go away.
“I’m a different person now than I was January 19,” King told Robin Roberts in her first public interview in two years. “Grief is a journey.”
Just days before his death, Alexander, who was a DJ and musician, tweeted about how he didn’t think Instagram was healthy for him. On Good Morning America, King acknowledged her son’s struggle with depression, saying how many people “expect it to look a certain way,” and that she, too, had to respect and understand his choice.
“He didn’t want to be here anymore and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience — did not live Ian’s journey,” King said.
King said her son had previously tried therapy, psychiatry and other programs to get himself help, but to no avail. At one point King was also “so angry with God” and still struggles with feelings of responsibility over his actions.
“Sometimes…a lot of guilt comes over me,” King said. “When a parent loses a child, you still wonder what could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened.”
Yet, during her journey dealing with grief, King said she’s gotten closer to healing. King continues to reference her son in the present tense because he is “always” with her. And while she has moments when Alexander’s “absence is really loud,” she also said there are moments reminding her of happy memories she shared with him, which prompt smiles and laughter.
Some of those happy memories include Alexander accompanying King to award shows and red carpet events, such as the 67th Emmy Awards and the 2019 Golden Globes. King said she now honors her son in unique ways, such as wearing orange — his favorite color — at this year’s Oscars. She also dedicated her latest film, “Shirley,” a biopic about the first Black congresswoman, Shirley Chisholm, to him.
While King’s emotional pain will never fully go away, she said she now understands that grief is simply the love she has for her son that “has no place to go.”
“The sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me,” King said.
“Happy sorrows,” she added.
